I recently watched 13 Reasons Why on Netflix.
[originally a book, it’s basically about a high schooler who commits suicide and the tapes she leaves behind]
I was excited to watch it. I think part of my depressive mind was hoping to find the final answers as to why I should commit suicide.
Instead, I found a story of grief.
A story that was filled with pained loved ones and questions and confusion.
Don’t get me wrong, it was beautifully told. I’m glad that this show can be used as a way to talk about suicide, mental health, and bullying.
They’re all topics that should be taken seriously.
In this seriousness, I wanted to let you know that although Hannah Baker may have found 13 reasons to leave, I have found 13 reasons to stay.
Without further ado, in no particular order, my thirteen reasons:
Reason one: Owen. Thanks for making me pumpkin cinnamon rolls on my birthday. I love that you just say “sup” when coming in the house. It’s a little thing that makes my day brighter. Our random chats are meaningful to me and I love ya a whole lot.
Reason two: Katie. Thank you for choosing to be my housemate for a second year!! I love that we are connected through Emmaus and social work. I’m thankful for your listening ear and the wisdom that you share with me. Thank you for writing me letters and being exactly who you are.
Reason three: Natalie. Thank you for encouraging me to write. Your friendship means the world to me. I’m so glad that God had us sit together in bdubs all that time ago. Thankful for our endless laughs and girl chats. I’m glad that we can be so close even though we don’t see each other as often as we would like.
Reason four: Jodie. Incredibly thankful that you popped into my life 4 years ago. Thanks for introducing me to Mexican Trains and playing endless games with us. You listen well and always respond in love.
Reason five: Josh. Wow. Thankful for you, my good sir. I’m glad that you can be brutally honest with me while walking with me in my faith. You’re incredibly smart and driven and I look up to you. (Except, not really, because I’m taller than you. HA.)
Reason six: Jamieson. Huh-haw! Your laugh and our random little conversations are so valuable to me. I love that we’re connected through our church fam becuz I don’t know what I’d do without your positive attitude in my life.
Reason seven: Rebekah. My dearest sister. I’m so thankful that God made us so different but yet we’re so close. I love you for who you are and I love that we’ve always got each other’s back. Thanks for being exactly who you are and for not being sorry about it.
Reason eight: Tommy. My dearest booger. I’m fond of your “eh” responses. I love that you pretend to be indifferent to my hugs and love, but you secretly love it, I know. Your love for dogs, bagel day, and pop-tarts warms my heart.
Reason nine: Lauren. Oh my goodness. Thank you for helping me become more like Christ. For sitting with me through hard times and for struggling through tough questions with me. I’m so thankful for this friendship and the light that you bring into my life.
Reason ten: KJ. What would I do without you, dear KJ? I’m glad that we have that special kind of connection. You’ve been important in my journey of healing and struggling through depression. Thanks for listening and being non-judgmental.
Reason eleven: Jim. Cheers to you, Jim. I’m so thankful that you stuck around until I graduated. Thank you for helping me think through grad school, faith, and college things. Your encouragement to follow my heart means the world to me. You’re a fantastic professor and mentor.
Reason twelve: Donna. It’s a good day to have a good day. Thankful for this summer, your endless chatter, and your positive vibes. You’re a great work momma, and I love you dearly. Thank you for loving me well.
Reason thirteen: Laura. Laura dear, thank you for being a great work momma. You care so deeply for your students and it shows. Thank you for being a great listener and helping me to take action when it is needed. Your encouragement and love are so appreciated.
I hope and pray that you find your 13 reasons. Maybe you have 5, or 20, or 32.
However many reasons you have, I hope that you hold tight to them.
Listen to them. Lean on them. Love on them.
Never let go.