psych ward pt. 2

Sometimes life feels pretty tough and you wonder if you can make it through.

I struggle with the big existential questions. Depression whispers in my ear, “What’s the point in living?”

It’s one of those harsh whispers, so close to your ear you can feel their breath, it’s one you can’t ignore.

But I’ve learned that pain, from all things, is inevitable.

It’s how we deal with this pain that is important.

Sometimes life feels like a stained glass picture.

You can’t see the whole thing because you’ve only lived part of it.

You can see the mix of colors defining your past and present.

Presently, all I can see are blues and grays. That’s kind of my life right now. Blues and grays represent depression for me.

It’s hard. It’s hard to see these colors and wonder when a joyful yellow or a romantic pink will come back.

But I think that through this (beautiful) mess of life, God can see the bigger picture.

He works with us and for us while designing the masterpiece that is our life.

Knowing this, I can’t see our loving, creative God using only blues and grays for my entire stained glass picture. It’s only a part of the picture, just a section.

This is my hope: that these low, low feelings won’t last forever. That I will still experience joy and love and happiness.

God uses our pains and frustrations. He redeems them. They make us wiser and stronger.

My blues and grays could be a beautiful lake or a dress or the sky.

I don’t know what God is going to do but I know I won’t be in these colors forever.

I’ll experience other colors and feelings and live a full life.

I will live a full life.

A robust life full of different shades and hues.

(And so will you.)


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