earplugs

Hello, friends.

I had a beautiful moment today and wanted to share it with y’all.

One interesting fact about me is that I’m in the Brazilian Drumming Ensemble at my college. As of recently, I haven’t been enjoying it as much as I usually do. I’ve strongly considered quitting (honestly, like I have with a lot of things this semester). But, like most things, I just stick with it.

See, lately, I’ve been feeling off. Suicidal thoughts have left the building (yay!!) but now this fog is present. This fog that makes everything dull, nothing fully enjoyable.

Today while drumming, I realized that the fog was like wearing ear plugs, but for my mind. Everything becomes muffled, not as bright. It blocks things out and pushes things away rather than letting them in to feel.

Friends, the earplugs fell off today. I enjoyed drumming.

If I’m honest, it was only for 15 minutes. But those 15 minutes were beautiful.

I joyfully thumped on my drum and smiled to myself, having this golden moment that only I could really sense. I felt intensely grateful for my professor, my fellow students, and our shared love for music. I felt grateful for the ability to make music. Grateful to go to this amazing college. I felt.

Praise God that He reminds us kindly that healing and recovery are possible.

Praise God for Brazilian drumming.